2019 – The Year of Authenticity

As the door closes on 2018 — the 11 master number year, where every single element in your life was being tested for stability — you may still be reflecting on certain areas in your life that came to an end, and what remains. Romantic relationships, business partnerships, career choices, family dynamics — everything that humans rely upon for sustenance went under the microscope. You may have lost a love relationship or a job, questioned your values or released connections that no longer serve you. What proved to be unstable has vanished or soon will, and what is left are the life circumstances and people who have proven to be reliable and in alignment with your soul’s path.

I decided to hold off writing this post until we were heavily situated in the new moon solar eclipse energy, and we are nestled in that energy now. There is a finality occurring, as circumstances shift and possibilities bud into existence. For you, this energy could remain present in January and beyond, yet you most likely have a pretty good idea of what elements represent stability in your life by now.

Humans must have stability on a granular level before self-actualization can occur. Once you become settled into what you deem stable, the calling of self-actualization will ring loudly.

2019 is the year of authenticity.

2019 is represented by the number 3 — (2+0+1+9=3). This is the year that you will find yourself being challenged to fully embody and celebrate your unique gifts, passions, needs and desires. You are being asked to show up courageously as the real deal — the truest version of yourself. As the year progresses, you will notice an increasing desire to integrate all the parts of yourself that you have been hiding from the world, so that you can shine your light. This not only benefits you personally, but everyone else who crosses paths with you.

Every person has a unique essence that yearns to be celebrated. There is no one else in the world exactly like You, and there never will be. Attempting to fit in and mask your beliefs and desires in order to conform to the expectations of others does nothing positive for you or anyone else. There is nothing but pain associated with the outcome — feeling like you let others down because you couldn’t measure up to what somebody else wanted you to be. And pretending to be something you’re not creates a false reality for others; essentially it is a mind-fuck for the people around you, which is cruel. This is something we rarely consider.

This year, your integrity will be tested.

Collectively, we tend to think about integrity as it relates to how we interact with others. But being in integrity begins with how well you relate to and accept all the parts of yourself. The more you are out of alignment with your true self, the more you are out of alignment with your integrity.

Integrity expressed externally looks like showing up honestly and doing what you say you’re going to do, while honoring yourself and others in the process. You honor your commitments unless doing so would hurt you or others, and then you communicate that truth.

External integrity is effortless when you are undivided. We spend most of our lives fragmented – one part of the self wants one thing and another part wants something else. This is how we can become frozen in indecision.

When you stand in integrity, there are no more decisions to be made — only actions to take.

This is the year that we will feel stirred to liberate ourselves from anything that stands in the way of authentic expression. Our lifestyle choices will shift as our emotional guidance system becomes louder. It will ask you to define what nourishes you.

You will begin to notice how increasingly difficult it is to show up wearing a mask. You will feel the tug of your soul’s desire to integrate all the parts of you that you once abandoned and show up fully with every interaction. If you resist this tug, your external reality will show you by example more reasons why the mask doesn’t work for you. This truth will become glaringly obvious and maybe even painful.

Finding the courage to be vulnerable and state your truth may feel impossible at times. Do it anyway. Discover your voice. Get vulnerable. Communicate your truth and watch connections and life experiences that once seemed impossible unfold before you. This is what true freedom feels like. Even if it feels frightening at the start, the outcome is liberating.

The full expression of your essence requires getting comfortable with the concept of authenticity.

You can only be authentic to the degree that you know yourself and to the degree that you are aware of what you are here to do. You will unlock this self-knowledge by practicing radical honesty. And the only way to be truly loved for who you are is to fully honor yourself.

Showing up vulnerable in the fullness of your naked, beautiful, unique expression is scary as hell — but this is how you find your tribe and even your greatest love. Living in authenticity is how you plant magical seeds that you will watch bloom into the masterpiece that you will call your life.

Creating awareness of what you need is the first step.

The only way to know is to ask. Here are some questions you can periodically ask yourself this year:

  • What nourishes me?

  • When do I feel secure?

  • When do I feel free?

Ask yourself these questions and then be still. Watch in awe as you become aware of what comes up. This is a practice in self-mastery, because when self is known, all is known. When you honor your whole self, your life transforms in wonderful ways.

Vulnerability sets the stage for transparency and honest communication.

When you lay out all your cards, you allow yourself to be seen. When you embrace vulnerability, you serve as a shining example and those around you will want to be seen as well. It will encourage others to do the same.

Practicing vulnerability allows us to share our humanity with the world and witness the humanity of others. Once this recognition of our shared humanity occurs, there is nothing left do but love.  

Love and light,

Sara

When divine inspiration comes, Listen.

I’m sitting on my porch, in an attempt to pour words onto paper from my heart. It’s October 16, 2018, the day my son Trey left this world, exactly three years ago.

Thinking back to that day, I’m amazed how quickly life circumstances can shift, and how different my life is today, compared to what it was before that fateful day. Three years is not a very long time. I feel like Trey and I were just sitting on the porch together, talking and laughing.

Today, I’m noticing the trauma that is still alive in my body. While my logical mind understands that I have moved through the intensity of that immense grief, the muscle memory inside my body still holds every emotion: Panic, dread, dissociation, confusion and chaos — which I can feel swirling inside of me. I’m in awe of the power of my body to recall the exact emotions of that experience from three years ago, and it has surfaced on this exact day, for the past two years.

I’m simply sitting with the awareness of this feeling, just noticing, with a clear awareness that I don’t exist in that grief state anymore, while allowing my body to feel what it needs to feel.    

The most confusing part of this experience is the fragmentation I feel. The pain of missing Trey in his human form, coupled with a profound knowingness that he fulfilled what his soul designed for his life — which was crucial for his soul’s development — and therefore incredibly exciting. Isn’t that what we’re all hoping to achieve?

Trey and I stay inextricably connected. The logical distinction between then and now is that Trey is not here in the physical body, and I’m no longer actively practicing parenthood. The spiritual distinction: Our roles have shifted; my son is now my spiritual teacher.

I used to tell Trey that we had traveled together for many lifetimes. He now constantly reminds me of this fact, through synchronicities which occur daily. It feels like he’s grooming me for something. I don’t know what, but I’m enjoying the journey.

It was only when I released the intense grief associated with his parting that I could access him fully — and he shows up in surprising ways. I see him in the sparkling eyes and smiles of random strangers and loved ones. He sends me messages through numbers, animals and objects. I often notice the unmistakable scent of his cologne. I hear his messages through songs and in soft whispers when I’m meditating. I feel him in the wind and in the warmth of the sun. And I sense his presence with the divine inspiration I receive.

The one message I receive consistently from Trey is this: It doesn’t actually matter what action I choose to take in the world — it only matters that I do it with joy and with the intention to anchor the consciousness of Oneness with every thought, action and interaction. I try to set this intention with every energetic exchange; with every person and living thing I cross paths with — something I could only practice after I let go of the grief.

The inspiration I receive comes in waves of joy and lots of goosebumps. And the level of joy I feel often brings me to tears.

One day last spring, I was sitting on my porch, typing away on my laptop when I witnessed a truly magical moment. All at once, the clouds parted and the sun shone incredibly bright, a rainbow appeared, a warm breeze blew, all the birds began to sing in unison and a tiny, white butterfly landed on my keyboard. The recognition of the interconnection of nature in that moment filled my heart with joy.

I sat in peaceful silence, smiling, and pondering the tiny miracle I had just witnessed. In that moment, I felt connected to everything.

Then the came the inspiration. “Spread this awareness.”

“How?” I asked myself. “Bring teachers together to help spread this consciousness,” I thought.

I shook my head and chuckled, then I asked aloud, “Really?”

I heard very clearly, “Yes.”

My entire body began tingling and goosebumps spread from my the top of my head, down to my toes. And I sat giggling from the overwhelming joy that filled me up in that moment.

“OK!” I laughed. “I’ll give it a try and see what I can do.”

I immediately began writing — about Oneness, the concepts and philosophies, and the names of experts and teachers who I felt would be open to serving in this way. I reached out to some amazing human beings, and then began receiving contacts for more experts and teachers who would eventually commit to participating in something. In what? I wasn’t sure. But everyone I spoke with felt the excitement, too.

Here I am, six months later, wrapping up logistics for the virtual event: Anchoring the Consciousness of Oneness World Summit. I had no idea if this would actually happen — or what it would look like if it did.

Since then, I’ve continued to move forward with planning, but only when inspiration would come. I didn’t question it — I just acted when I was moved to do so. Each action I took to move this event forward was divinely inspired. It has been a joyous journey and I am honored that this endeavor is now being supported by so many healers with incredible messages to share.

I visited Albert Moore today, a summit speaker and a dear friend who I love and respect so much. He reminded me that my emotional body recalls the trauma of October 16, three years ago.

“The emotional body is the first layer right outside of the physical body, so it’s what we have easiest access to,” Albert said. “The next layer is the mental body, and behind that is the spiritual body. Every emotion you felt then still exists within every cell in your body.”

He explained how dancing to shamanic drumming can release the stuck trauma from cells, so that the trauma can be replaced, not only with the mental awareness, but the Knowing from my heart space that Trey is with me in every moment.

“There is no separation,” Albert said. “The ego remembers the trauma as a loss, but since we are not separate, nothing can be lost, especially love.”

Tonight, I danced. And I walked barefoot in the rain — and spent time with people who shine my light right back at me.

Thank you, Albert, for your wisdom and unwavering friendship. And thank you, Trey, for never leaving my side.

Love and light,

Sara

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