Claim Your Authenticity, Grow Your Relationships

Recently, I’ve been approached by men who want to learn more about receiving purpose coaching. They usually begin their inquiry by asking me why I limit myself to working with only women.

My answer: “Well, first of all, I am a woman, and secondly, it is mostly women who seem to be energetically attracted to working with me. But I am not limited to helping only women.”

I have coached men before – primarily those who have already claimed their purpose and looking for ways to move further into their potential by integrating the feminine essence necessary for creation.

I’m thrilled that this work is beginning to attract the masculine in search of their purpose. They tell me they not only want to get clear on their purpose and their path forward, but also want to figure out how to maintain a healthy balance between their purpose and their relationship with their feminine counterparts. It can feel overwhelming to juggle it all – actualizing a purposeful life, earning money, creating a loving relationship, raising children, maintaining a household and everything that goes with it. It’s not just women who are overwhelmed.

The biggest complaint I hear from men is the lack of passion in their intimate relationships with their partners. I believe this has a lot to do with the fact that most men (or people who primarily lead with masculine energy) have no idea how their life choices impact their feminine counterparts.

The feminine essence is a magical mystery. It cannot be fully described, because it is the energy of creation. The totality of the universe cannot be understood in words.

My dad used to ask me, “Sara, tell me about women’s knowledge.”

My reply: “How do you describe the mysterious depths of the ocean? No one knows all the secrets of the ocean.”

I was not old enough to answer the question to his satisfaction, and it irritated him to no end.

It’s not entirely necessary for men to completely understand the feminine essence in order to nurture it and benefit from it.

Women are the ocean that men sail through on ships.
— Sara Daves

I want to be clear that feminine energy is not always the dominant energy in a woman and masculine energy is not always the dominant energy in a man. Same sex relationships whether male or female contain one partner who embodies the feminine and one partner who embodies the masculine. There can also be a reversal in heterosexual relationships. But for an intimate, romantic relationship to exist, both energies must be present.

Those of us who embody the energy of the feminine represent the energy of beauty, mystery and magic, and at times, we are unpredictable and volatile. We have a natural ability to work with the darkness – the mysterious energy of what cannot be seen. In the darkness there is nothing, yet out of the darkness came everything.

The masculine partner who does not embrace his purpose cannot show up fully in his authenticity. He will also be unable to be fully present with his feminine partner. Her response to this is overwhelming wild emotions that eventually transform into complete indifference.

With his inability to navigate her depths, he will eventually become a witness to the drying up of the magnificent oceanic beauty within her. The feminine counterpart will begin to age quickly, lose interest in life and even develop illness and wither away, until she decides to completely check out or leave the relationship altogether, so that she can begin to show up for herself.

A partnered woman (or anyone embodying the feminine essence) needs her masculine partner’s presence in order for her to create and share her beauty and love to the world. A single woman can easily do this on her own, and a partnered woman can also do this – if the love and presence she gives is reciprocated.

In short, we need to feel safe in our union. If the partnered woman doesn’t feel safe, she will check out of the partnership in order to give herself what she needs to flourish.

Safety within a relationship for a woman looks like a man who shows her he has decided with 100 percent certainty that he chooses her. He does this by showing up in his full presence and integrity. Anything else will not feel safe. Without safety in the relationship, the feminine emotional being dies a slow death. The best thing she can do in this instance is run like hell.

A single man (or anyone embodying the masculine essence) can also fulfill his purpose on his own – and so can a partnered man. The feminine partner has the ability to offer the gift of holding the space for him to amplify his purpose in ways he never knew possible, so long as she stays true to herself in the relationship.

When she tolerates behavior that drains her, she is communicating to her partner that it’s OK for him to step out of his integrity, which is crucial to maintaining his authenticity. When she stays true to herself and her own needs, her energy can actually fuel her partner to stay true as well, both to his purpose and to her.

There is a catch. We, the feminine counterpart have no desire to control our masculine by making decisions for him. If we feel the need to, the relationship is headed for failure.

The masculine who believes he doesn’t need his feminine counterpart to achieve a complete and authentic life is doing nothing more than fooling himself.

Purpose must come first, as we are all here to self-actualize in unique service to our creator, which IS us. This is how we serve humanity and the universe.

We are here playing the game of the dualistic illusion in 3-D, which shows us that everything is separate. The ultimate illusion of separation is shown to us through the masculine-feminine dynamic.

The goal is to integrate. We do this through union with another, of the opposite energetic essence.

The masculine is light and the feminine is love. The light is necessary for enlightenment, but love can happen in the dark as well as in the light. The feminine gives her love to help the masculine create the brightest light possible within, and the love she gives is mirrored back to her.

The feminine counterpart has an innate ability to serve as a reflection of the light and bring it into conscious awareness.

That is what we are seeing happen now on the world stage.

Whether or not she freely admits it, her whole well-being is impacted by her masculine partner’s drive to reach his potential. When she merges with her masculine counterpart who is not meeting his potential, they will both suffer greatly. This lack throws both partners into their shadows.

The masculine shows up as uncertain and chaotic and the feminine responds with volatility and eventually indifference as she attempts to make up for his lack.

The only thing that becomes certain is a slow and painful emotional death for the union.

In order for the masculine to show up for his feminine goddess, he must first come to terms with what he is here to do and self-actualize his purpose into the essence of his being. If he does not accept this challenge, he will wander through purgatory forever and ever, unable to show up in his full presence, for himself or anyone else.

It hurts everyone when the masculine plays small.

Getting in touch with the depths of your inner being is the first step toward self-actualization. Both men and women have within them the capacity to step into their full authenticity and live in service to the world by offering their greatest gifts.

You must figure out what that is and give it freely and openly, or you will continue to play small – while you and those you love suffer.

There is no one alive on the planet that does not have something crucial to give in service to the collective. If you didn’t have a purpose to serve in some unique way, you wouldn’t be here.

If you would like to learn more about working with me, contact me for a free discovery session.

Love and light,

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